Tag Archives: God

Leftovers…

28 Tuesday Feb 2012

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It is so unlike me to have had absolutely nothing I wished to share with my little section of this vast blogosphere…for over three months! My mind was far from blank, but the thoughts were less than comforting. When my mind runs away with me, it often goes to places too dark for comfort (and yes, some dark places are quite comfortable, thank you very much).

Recently, I found myself doing a bit of a mental inventory, taking stock of all the things that were within my reach and would have been mine without there needing to be a miracle. Of all the things I could have done, of all the things I (kinda) set out to do, of all the things I came close to wanting, how many of them have ticks (not the parasites) beside them? None… zero… not even one.

When I take the time to crunch those numbers, I wonder what’s the point. I’m pushing 30 (26 is almost 30, so there), and what do I have show for it? I wouldn’t say, “nothing”, but there are days it seems pretty close. I ask myself…what’s left? After all I’ve lost/thrown away/strangled to death and then stabbed for good measure, what remains of this Lori creature? That is perhaps the question of my lifetime.

My nephews were watching the first episode of “The Jetsons” the other day–the one in which they acquired Rosie (epic robot maid). There were complaints that all they had were leftovers, and Spacely (boss dude) was coming over for dinner. Rosie saved the day…with the leftovers.

One of the hardest things for me to accept is that God can and will redeem (buy back, restore value to) my life. I believe firmly that He is able to redeem anyone and anything, but I somehow manage to exclude myself from this process, if only on a subconscious level.

I do not dare to suggest that God is an epic robot maid (He’s infinitely cooler), but I dare to believe that one day, I will believe in His power to redeem from a place that transcends intellectual acceptance of God’s goodness and faithfulness…to me.

If God could make the world from nothing (which He did), if He could make the way for all mankind to be restored to Him through Jesus (which He most certainly did), then imagine what He can do with leftovers… with Lori. Imagine what He can do with you.

Honestly, I can’t picture it yet, but it’s coming…like a sunrise stealing across my soul.

Hosea 13:9, 10 (KJV [paraphrased])

O Israel, you have destroyed yourself; but in Me is your help. I will be your king: where is any other that may save you…?

But we must…

05 Saturday Nov 2011

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Sometimes, there are no words… other times, you must bleed through your fingers, turning black and white to red… depending on how normal you are, sometimes you cry, and only those saline streams form an effective outlet.

Still, sometimes, nothing works.

Nothing works, and all you can do is take one tortured breath after another. Repeat.
No pause.
No stop.
Repeat…

How do you stop your heart from becoming one huge callus? You can’t change the pain, so the answer must be to change the heart… to shut it down, so it registers no sensation, be it pain or pleasure. Life sucks… sometimes. What can we do about it, really?

I dare to suggest that maybe the point isn’t to change life, but to BE CHANGED by the tide of trials and the fires of agony… to allow the God who is with us when we pass through the fire to watch over us as He refines us into vessels that please Him. Either life is some twisted cosmic game, or God has a plan. A good plan. A plan to prosper us, and not to harm us. A plan to give us a hope and a future. A plan for us to cry out to Him, pray to Him, seek Him, find Him, and be FOUND IN HIM.

Life stinks… but we must believe. We must believe that the God who is Love has not deserted us, even when other ‘loves’ have.
Love hurts… but we must recall the goodness of the God who takes the time to number the hairs on our heads, because He’s either an obsessive compulsive or He really does care about us.
We bleed… but we must call on the mercy of the God who heals, the God who makes alive the dead.
We fail… but we must fall on the grace of the God whose strength is perfect in our weakness…we must fall on His grace, thus learning to stand.
The fire may not cease… but we must believe that God is able to deliver us, and even if He doesn’t, we must believe that He will never desert us.
There are things we will never understand this side of heaven… but we must run to God…with our tears, our sorrows, our questions, our joys…with everything.

How easy it is to forget the goodness of God in a world where life is one heartache after another… a world in which we see death, sickness, starving children, injustice, and every horror imaginable. We may not be able to change the things around us, but we must allow God’s love to change us, and we’ll find that we’re already making a difference, simply by being different.

God is good. Say it. Remember it. Believe it. We are still here. We have life in Jesus, the Christ, the Son of the Living God. We have hope. God has not forgotten us.

God is Love.

Lamentations 3 (NKJV [mostly :P])

17 You have moved my soul far from peace; I have forgotten prosperity.
18 And I said, “My strength and my hope have perished from the LORD.”
19 Remember my affliction and roaming, the wormwood and the gall.
20 My soul still remembers and sinks within me.
21 This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope.
22 It is because of the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “ Therefore I hope in Him!”
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

In Another’s Shoes…

15 Saturday Oct 2011

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The past week or so has been a time of deep reflection (well, in the moments I couldn’t distract myself with mindless entertainment).

I’ve realized something: my life is nowhere near as difficult as I think it is. Walking in love is hard, and I’ve been coming up with excuses to not do it…flimsy ones at that. I truly do not wish to be a nice person. I know we’re all different and we ought not to compare ourselves to others, but when I look at the things distressing me, versus the things distressing others in my life, I have to admit it: I’ve been a baby and another word beginning with ‘b’.

It’s been a crazy season for many people in my life, and I’ve been wondering how I’d respond in their situations. Yes, I know the right thing, but I also know myself well enough to face the reality that knowing the right thing is no guarantee that it’ll get done. Like, I don’t think people generally consciously decide to walk away from their principles. Sometimes, circumstance makes the wrong decision easier–the same way it often does for me.

Point? Most people are not ignorant of what the right thing is. It’s just that the right thing doesn’t always seem right to them or right for them. I think Christians have a tendency to throw Scripture at people without remembering the people themselves. I’m all for sharing God’s truth, and that won’t change. What I’ve found, though, is that sometimes people and I don’t have the same view of God. Sometimes, people feel so dirty, so ashamed, so insert-appropriate-adjective-here that they expect others and God to feel the same way. No wonder the Bible says to speak the truth in love. What’s the point of sharing God’s truth without God’s love behind it?

So, I’ve been thinking. Your shoes don’t make you blind to truth, but they might make truth less appealing. In your shoes, would I respond any differently? I’ve been given several scenarios to consider over the past couple months, and I can see what I’ve known for most of my life. I’m not different, no better than anyone else. In fact, I just may be worse.

In the words of a reformed slave ship captain:

Amazing Grace!
How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! …

‘Tis grace that brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home.

“Amazing Grace” – John Newton

Whatever truth we stand for, may we remember God’s love for all, as well as this basic truth: Christians aren’t better people; we’re simply products of grace.